"Fail better."

Two posts in two days!

Well, despite the picture I posted yesterday of a corgi who swore on the professionalism of this blog, this post is a little bit more...personal.

Yesterday's post mentioned the fact that I interviewed for two jobs but was offered neither of them. You'll notice the fact that while I voiced my frustration over one organization's practices, I didn't say much else about my feelings of not getting the position. I'm guessing that my subconscious knew I'd have to write much more about those feelings than I would have allowed myself in that post (given that I had a lot more to talk about), and so now I'm writing about them here.

The truth? It kills to get that cookie-cutter e-mail of rejection. I was so interested in the position and the work that the organization did, and I could see myself going to work and loving being there, which is more than I can say about most positions. I know that there are always so many circumstances surrounding new hires, but when I get the rejection e-mails, I can't help feeling that it is entirely my fault and that I'm not good enough. I'm really not good at failing. Of course, I don't know many people who are, but I've been lucky (or I guess, unlucky) enough that my life up to this point has been successful and has had relatively few snags. It's been very hard this summer to get rejection letter after rejection letter, without any explanation as to why I won't be a good match.

"It's not you, it's me. I wish you all the best. We will keep in touch! Love, HR"

Anyway, I suppressed the stresses of yesterday's rejection until today, when I had a mini-meltdown while looking for new positions. I had to blog it out a bit and remind myself of all the famous, successful people who never gave up. And I don't care so much about being famous, but it helped me to remind myself that even the most successful people have been rejected again and again before reaching success.

I learn best when I write down information; something about the physical transcription of the words also seems to etch the lessons onto my brain. I decided to help myself remember to keep going by giving myself a temporary tattoo of some motivational words. This isn't the first time I've done this, and it certainly won't be the last.

Wise words from playwright, Samuel Beckett.

Welp.

So, it's been exactly a month since I last wrote. I've been meaning to write, I swear! It's just...reasons.

Anyway, rather than launch into a hearty apology for not writing, here are a few updates on the things in my life.

Two Interviews, No Job Offers
I had two interviews in D.C. for administrative jobs at nonprofit organizations. I was very excited about both, and I really thought that the interviews went well. I found out two days after one interview that they had chosen someone else, but as I was really hoping for the other position, I wasn't too upset. I finally heard back from the second organization that I didn't get the job today. It took two weeks and my sending an uncomfortable e-mail inquiring about the status of the position for me to hear back. Honestly, it seemed unprofessional and annoying; I doubt that HR decided two hours after I e-mailed that they had just received acceptance from their chosen candidate. Regardless, I'm back to Square 1 on the whole "finding-a-full-time-job-that-doesn't-make-me-want-to-rip-my-eyes-out" front.

So I'm Studying...
Or at least trying to. The test is in exactly one week! I know I haven't prepared enough, but these are some things I've been doing to prepare:

The first Google autocorrect after the title "Guns, Germs, and Steel" is "Guns, Germs, and Steel summary." #America

• finish filling in maps of the world (though I'm not trying to memorize as much; it's more of a basic geographical understanding)
• read a few articles from the newest issue of Foreign Affairs
• obsessively listen to NPR (though that's not a new thing)
• Watch some documentaries (or at least parts of them...), including Ken Burns' The War and National Geographic's Guns, Germs, and Steel (based off the Jared Diamond book). Guns, Germs, and Steel is on the suggested reading list for the FSOT test. I wasn't able to locate it at my library, and frankly, I had enough things to read, so I watched the 3-part series. It was informative but pretty repetitive, so I hope to read the full book and get more details sometime soon.

• Take some practice tests related to geography, business, and economics 'cause I'm not so good at those.
• Read up on my U.S. history through the Complete Idiot's Guide to American History and The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy. The first is mostly to brush up on basic facts about wars, presidents, important court cases, etc. The second is on the suggested reading list for the FSOT, and it's fascinating. Obviously, it's a little difficult to read from cover to cover, as it's a dictionary. But there's SO much information in here and it's impossible to pick the book up without learning something.

Attempting to Re-live College

Homecoming Weekend happened this past weekend. It was simultaneously way better and way worse than I expected. Without going into too much detail (after all, this is my professional blog, and not my diary), I think that it was a difficult weekend because being back at school conjures so many different emotions. The nostalgia of being back in a place so familiar, the joy of seeing old friends, the reliance on others to house you, the frustrations of old friendships that come back so quickly, the sadness that the carefree times of college are over. But I'm glad that I went; I ultimately had a great time and it was awesome to catch up with people I care about (as well as meet some new faces ahhhh I'm so old).

Like I said, this is my professional blog.

Anyway, hope that this long post has made up for the dearth of posts in the last few weeks. Looking forward to posting more in the near future!